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Watch your neighbor as yourself. Not in some creepy, spying way. Watch for depression. Watch for addiction. Watch for bullying. Watch for anger that leads to regrets. Watch me. I’ll watch you. Intervene where necessary. Love watches without judgment. Love watches without seeking power over another.
Love keeps vigil.
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Some things are beyond our control. Most things are beyond our control. I’m not entirely where I want to be at this point in life. Did I not keep vigil? Was someone not watching me closely enough? Had one of us been watching more carefully, intervened, could I have avoided this spot?
Or am I in this spot to watch for a miracle?
Whether led to this place by God or stumbled here by carelessness, I must practice vigilance. I must watch with the presumption that I’m needed here. This does not excite me. Perhaps it should.
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All this watching and, honestly, I can’t see. Can you? Some claim they can. It’s not a moral failing, this blindness. It’s not my fault or my parents'. I can only hope to run into someone to put some mud on my eyes and open them, if only for brief moments. I can only hope that walking by faith, not sight, will get me somewhere . . . else.
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Abba Arsenius was wrong, of course. We know everyone needs more than an hour of sleep each night. His dedication to keeping vigil remains admirable, however. I’d like to emulate his resolve. It’s just hard to know where to focus attention. There are many distractions, many problems, many points of overwhelm. I want to sleep in self-defense.
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It’s not only about my not being where I want to be. I know so few people who are. I keep vigil not only for myself, but for those around me. I watch for language that denigrates those who cannot defend themselves. I watch for power gone awry.
And for miracles.
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I need more than one hour of sleep a night. Love keeps vigil.
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