Saturday, October 29, 2011

And . . . So What?

The month of October has flown by. I've been meaning to follow up my "ranting" of a month ago with some thoughts and the time has simply not been there. (And the time spent has been very good for me, so the lack of time, in this case, equals very good things.)

Because after a rant, the inevitable question is, "So what? What are you going to do with all that ranting?"

This is just a quick note to say one thing: I know this is not a sustainable place to live in. I've had a rough patch of things. The year 2010 kicked me hard. The year 2011 has been all about finding a new normal, re-prioritizing, maybe setting new goals. All this is pretty bumpy, too. I do not feel settled. Actually, I don't know that I've ever felt settled, but a few years ago I at least felt like I was on a path, a track. Maybe some of us never feel settled. Maybe "settled" isn't the point. Maybe being on track is the point. Moving forward.

So this place that is publicly oblique but personally unsettled and results in deconstructing a well-intentioned (but still, I maintain, failed) "welcome" video . . . All I have to say at the moment is that this is not a place one can live in. I'm not building a house here. I just pitched a tent here for a while.

There's cloud and fire out there, just ahead. It's moving. I have to follow.