Some years ago, in an adult Sunday school class, I said somewhat cheekily that I aspired to be a Christian, but I hadn't managed it yet. Maybe someday I'd be converted. After the class, a fellow approached me with some concern, saying, "Did I hear you say you haven't converted to Christianity yet?"
So like my world . . .
Of course I was being cheeky and being serious at the same time. I don't understand my life in Christ as an accomplishment. I do believe that conversion is an ongoing process. But, yes, I have thrown my hat into the Christian ring and I am there to worship every Sunday. I am and am not yet a Christian.
I thought about this story this morning as we listened again to the Transfiguration story and the preacher at my church spoke of conversion (juxtaposed again "justification," which made my Lutheran heart skip a beat, but okay, he wasn't talking about it like that). And I know there is so much more conversion to take place. There is plenty of room for transformation.
I've not been blogging lately. I lost the fire, I lost my way, I lost myself. Something in there is true. I feel my nation, these good ol' United States, has severely lost its way and I'm severely lost in with it. I've felt this is not the time to stop blogging and I've felt I have nothing to say to the state of my government at this moment in history.
But today was Transfiguration Sunday and Wednesday is Ash Wednesday, and maybe short snippets and ideas and observations is all I'll write, but I think my voice, insofar as it asks after the love of God in Christ Jesus, should not be still in this historical moment.
It's a small voice. I have no illusions about what my tiny voice can do in this roaring wind tunnel. These blog posts average, last I checked, less than 50 hits per post.
A friend recently said something about running for office and I laughed it off. She said she wouldn't really wish that on me and that I'm a writer and that's better anyway.
So here I am.
I hope to yet be converted to Christ.