As noted previously, I've been calling the COVID 19 pandemic "The Long Lent." For a brief time, this year, we were all hoping that we might be coming out of it. Vaccines were available and even if not everyone was getting it, I and my vaccinated friends could resume dinners at cafes. We remained cautious, but early data showed that we were protected and, just as important, if we got a "breakthrough infection," we would have a large enough viral load to spread it to others.
Then came the Delta variant.
And here we are with rising cases and ICUs at hospitals full of people who didn't get the vaccination. There is renewed calls for masks and resistance to the same. Breakthrough cases even of the variant are mild but now carry a viral load large enough to spread.
Yesterday, I learned things I should know, about someone who is in the hospital because they believed the virus was a hoax, about others who are not vaccinated and in jobs with high contact with people. One is someone I particularly like.
This new variant is said to be more contagious than the previous variants and it's here in Houston in a big way and in my job, I'm part of planning what is undoubtedly a super-spreader event, but in our defense, it's just one of many going on. We moving ahead with it regardless of what the color code for our community spread is.
I was okay with this event until Delta.
The event is on a Saturday. I'm already planning on staying home from church the next day, maybe getting a test just so I know I'm not spreading it further.
And that feels like the responsible thing.
Meanwhile, what I'm really struggling with is the people who are not vaccinated, who are creating space for the mutations. The person I know who is in the hospital right now, who didn't believe the pandemic was a real thing (apparently because the former occupant of the White House said it was a hoax)---I'm not close to him. He's an acquaintance. I'm nonetheless so angry at him. He and others like him are part of the reason we can't have the work event with peace of mind. I find myself thinking less than kind thoughts.
I posted on my Facebook page that I was having trouble with compassion. I think some mistook that for struggling with being nice. I will confess to the sin of niceness, which is really just the sin of wanting to be liked. It may even be my besetting sin. But that's not what I'm talking about here. Anger, sadness, confrontation---all can be part of a compassionate response.
Schadenfreude, however, is not compassionate. Taking pleasure is someone else's suffering is not, in any way, something I can square with the faith I profess.
This latest surge is testing the limits of my ability to resist shouting "haha! Serves you right!"
Because who doesn't deserve some suffering for the things they've done? We teach to take no delight in other's suffering because we know suffering, too.
This lenten season feels endless. It feels like we've reached a point where Easter is about to be celebrated and maybe we've let up a little on our disciplines, but we check the calendar and no, Easter is not this coming Sunday.
We're so tired. All of us. But the Long Lent continues and we have to rededicate ourselves to the disciplines that we took up to make the world a better place.
Lord have mercy.
