They were friends, you know. Knew each other well, traveled around together, ate together. All that.
And really, setting aside Jesus being Lord and all, it's just one of those things that happens with friends. Visions differ or change or were misunderstood.
Maybe you've been betrayed. Maybe you've betrayed. Maybe no one was betrayed but everyone goes away feeling some trust was broken.
Or we're just broken.
I had an acting teacher in college who said over and over that no one plays villains. Every character we play had to believe s/he was doing the best thing, whether for the world or for the self, but really doing the best thing.
So I sympathize with Judas. Surely he thought he was doing something for some purpose---we can argue what. Something about Israel, maybe, or when Jesus said "the Reign of God," some other picture came to Judas' mind than what Jesus had in mind.
It just all got so terribly out of hand. And however passively, he had the help of the other disciples.
"Do quickly what you are going to do."
"Could you not keep awake one hour?"
In the night of the new commandment---that we should love one another---deeds are quickly done or else sleep overcomes. A nap. A kiss.
Jesus. Judas. A few other friends. Everything broken.
Remain here. Stay awake.
I mean well.